Here With Me
by CSIKrissy
Summary: I’ve never seen him like this, ever. Being sick had always seemed to not exist in Mac Taylor’s vocabulary." SMacked all the way.


**A/N:** Hi! First of all, thanks a million for taking the time to read this, it means a lot. It's only my second story I've put up, so I'm still learning and all the rest. If you see any mistakes, I'm sorry for that too. If you haven't read my first story it's called 'Save You', would love for you to check that out if you haven't already. I decided to be bold and brave and bring this one out as well, its been under wraps for a while, I've made so many tweaks to it I finally just said to myself that's it!  
Reviews would be SO AWESOME! They really do help. By the way, I think I suck at endings so would love to know what you think about as well, I love ending with one liners but yeah Anyways, I'll shut up now and let you get too it haha! Happy reading and hope you like it!

**Disclaimer:** State the obvious, I don't own CSI: NY or any of its characters. Only in my dreams do I own Mac Taylor lol.

****

I stood outside Mac's apartment; it had been awhile since I was here.

I replayed the last time we sat on his couch, the last time we actually had a REAL conversation about normal things other then work. Then it occurred to me; I couldn't even remember.

I took a deep breath and refocused on the real reason I was here. For the first time ever, In all the years I had known Mac, he was sick. To the point where he couldn't get out of bed, and was forced to take a few days off work. And that of course didn't sit well with him. He wouldn't be in the best of moods.

Sighing, I reached for the spare key in my pocket. Mac gave it to me after everything that happened with Frankie, if I needed a spare room; which he has kindly offered before, he had i. He was sweet for doing that.

Walking in, it was dark and silent, but I noticed it hadn't changed.  
Everything was neatly placed, no new furniture or interesting plants or bits and pieces. He had no time obviously. I for one knew all too well that work was home for him.

My heart started to race a little faster as I made her way slowly past the kitchen; maybe this wasn't a good idea. What happens if I wakes him from sleeping? He could be for once having a decent rest and I could ruin it. Yet I don't stop and kept walking down the darkened hallway, finding her way to his bedroom at the end. The door was opened slightly.

"Mac?" I called out softly.

There was no answer.

She stood still at his door in slight panic, thinking frantically what to do next.  
Then she heard a ruffled voice, barely a whisper.  
"Stella?" he replied.

At the sound of her name she was relieved, and made her way in.  
Only a faint glow of light came through his window, she could just she the outline of him, he wasn't even under the covers, just curled up on his side, still in his clothes.

"Mac what are you doing? You should be under the covers, and why haven't you changed?"  
My instant cause for concern over immediately over took me,

"Tired." he managed to say in a groggy tone.  
I regretted saying it straight away, he sounded awful.

"Here let me help you." I said slowly reaching out to him.  
He immediately tensed at my touch; I could sense he was uncomfortable, but nonetheless I ignored it and carried on.  
"What are you doing Stella?" he said shifting from her.  
"Just helping you get comfortable Mac, you look as sick as anything."  
"I think i can handle it myself." he said direct.

I was right; he wasn't in the best mood, matter of fact he was in a real shitty mood, and the way he said it made me flare up inside, I hated it. But I saw past it for now.  
"Ok, I'll go get you some water."

I fumbled through his kitchen and came back minutes later.  
"Hungry?" I asked handing over the glass of water.  
"No, I mean... no thank you. Food is the last thing on my mind right now."  
"Honestly Mac, you just need rest, make sure you get lots of that over the next few days okay?"  
"I know. But this is ridiculous, I _never_ get sick."

My heart sank.

"It wasn't going to avoid you forever, Mac"  
"I know that too."

I've never seen him like this, ever. Being sick had always seemed to not exist in Mac Taylor's vocabulary. But here I was, sitting in his apartment, beside his bed, watching him getting worse by the minute.  
I didn't want to leave him here alone, bad moods and all. Seeing him like this shattered me to pieces.

"Stella?" he said coughing and finally getting under the covers.  
"Yes?"  
"I don't want to give this to you, you shouldn't be here."  
"You don't have to worry about me Mac, just think about yourself for once."

He didn't say anything after that. His head was still throbbing out of control, and every inch of him was aching. He didn't have the strength to debate with her any longer.  
Mac cared about Stella more then anyone, no question. But he really didn't want her to be here, not while he was like this.

"I'll let you get some sleep." I said finally.  
I briefly looked at him before making my way out, his eyes already shut and in deep sleep.  
She was missing him already as she walked out and got into her car and drove off.

****

I arrive at the lab a short while later, finding the rest of the gang in the break room.  
"Hey guys." I say walking in, case files in hand.

"Where have you been? You're usually the first one in here." Lindsay says.  
"I was checking up on Mac, His sick."  
"Sick?" they all blurted out simultaneously.  
I had to laugh at their enthusiasm, "It's the flu, his going to have the next few days off, I'm in charge till then."  
"_The_ Mac Taylor is sick? So he really is human!" Danny said jokingly, Hawkes laughing along with him.  
"Danny!" Lindsay said slapping his arm lightly.  
"Hey, I'm kidding. I've just never seen the guy sick, I thought he was invincible or something."  
"Well, let's not let him down and get to work."

****

After the longer then usual shift, I was eagerly awaiting for some much needed sleep, but like always, Mac was still very much on my mind, she hadn't stopped thinking about him all day. Why he distracts me so much I will never know. Not having his presence around is weird. And Even though he was probably still in the exact same position, sleeping it off, I couldn't help but worry, its not unusual for me to worry, I always do, even at the slightest of things.

I happened to be over Macs side of town after finishing from the crime scene. But decided it was best to avoid going and checking up on him again. I don't think my fried brain could handle a grumpy Mac right now.  
Making my way through thick New York traffic and mind drifting elsewhere, my phone then suddenly rings. I was suprised and couldn't help but crack a smile when I read on the screen that is was Mac.

"Bonasera?"  
"Stella."  
"Mac, Are you ok?"  
"Uh yeah. Are you busy?"  
"I've just finished my shift, what's up?"  
"Could you come over, if you can."

I was starting to get a little worried, and curious.

"Sure, is everything alright?"  
"Just need your help." he said immediately.

_'He needs my help, he needs my help, answer him!'  
_  
"I'll be over in 10, I've just finished up here at the scene, I'm not far from your place."  
"Thanks."

****

I eagerly grabbed my spare key and made my way in once again.  
Still dark and silent, I headed to his bedroom finding the bed empty.

Panic over rid me.

"Mac?" I called out.

No response.

"Mac?" I said again, this time a little louder.

I noticed the bathroom light was on; and the door was closed almost all the way. I walked forward, a lump forming in my throat.

_'It's ok, His probably just, you know... doing his business, or managed to have a shower, stop it – you're being ridiculous!'_

I knocked lightly and called his name once again.  
"Mac, I'm here."  
"Stella..." I hears him say roughly  
"Mac, can I come in? I mean... are you ok?" _  
_"Ah, just give me a minute." he replies.  
"Okay."  
I taking a deep breath, not moving till I hears his voice again.  
"Stella, I...I think need your help now." he says, a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice.  
"Okay, I'm coming in..."  
I entered and find him sitting on the edge of his bathtub.

Shirtless.

_Oh holy hell!  
_  
_'He had showered at least'_ I thought to herself, and when I refocused, immediately my stomach dropped as Icould see he was struggling and still very much in pain.  
"What happened?" I asked standing in front of him, putting my hand on his bare shoulder without even thinking, feeling his warm skin against mine.  
"I had a shower, just trying to get up and move around but my body doesn't seem to want to co-operate. Feel really light headed."

I was relieved, and let out a small laugh.  
"Let's get you back into bed then?"  
"Wait, could you lead me to the kitchen, I'm starved."  
"How about you just lay in bed and I'll make you some soup or something and bring it in?"  
"Okay. But I don't have much."

"Put your arm around me." I said lifting him up as we made our way slowly to his bed.

He looked unbelievably cute lying there, topless, just in his slacks, hair ruffled all over the place.  
I couldn't help but... _stare._

"I know, I look terrible." Mac said breaking the silence.  
I composed myself, "You don't look terrible Mac."  
"You're just saying that." He quickly replied

I was glad to see somewhat his normal self and sense of humour slowly creeping back.  
"Honest! Would I ever lie about something like that?"  
For the first time in what seemed weeks, Mac smiled and I smiled with him.

I finally made my way to the kitchen to make the soup with whatever supplies he had. A short while later I came back and came to a realisation that watching him eat was fascinating, that sounds weird and creepy, but everything he does seems to be perfect in my eyes.

"This is good." he said  
"Just what the doctor ordered?"  
Mac smiled slightly and nodded, and I was happy to see that glimpse once again.

There was silence between us, minutes went by, and we both just sat there, Mac looking one way, and me looking the other.

"I'm sorry for being an ass yesterday, I know you were only trying to help."  
"Don't worry about it Mac, I understand you weren't the happiest."  
"Yeah but I didn't have to talk to you like that, you're a good friend Stella. I appreciate you looking after me."

I tensed, and my pulse quickened.  
"Your a good friend too Mac" I said back softly "And what are friends for?"

His eyes now slowly reached mine. Something had suddenly changed in the air between us.  
I watched him study my face for a little while, his eyes drifting down to my lips.

"Do you want me to get you a drink?" I asked, clearing her throat.  
"No thanks." Mac replied, his eyes still locked on mine.

Again we were both in silence, sitting on Macs bed. Except this time I had some nerve to reach over and put my hand over his.  
"The labs not the same without you around, even the other guys are missing you I think."  
He looked down at their hands, and slowly without even thinking he linked our fingers together properly.

I looked up at him, and smiled. It felt good holding his hand, it felt _right,_ and my pulse was now going out of control, I felt like my heart was going to explode from my ribcage.

I decided I was enjoying the silence; sometimes we'd do this little game. Which was one of the thing I loved most about us.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.  
She was caught by surprise at his question. And again had to focus.  
"Nothing." _  
_"Nothing?"  
"Yep."  
"Seriously?"  
"Not really..."  
Mac cocked a brow, "Okay, so what are you really thinking?" he said.

I swallowed hard.

"Ah...You."

_ 'Great job Stella; you've ruined everything now'_

He squeezed my hand a little tighter at my response.  
Now I was nervous; I straightened myself up, letting the pause between us drag out.

"What about me?"  
_'I really didn't want him to ask that'_

"I don't know, just you. Seeing you as sick as you were yesterday, it scared me. Stupid I know."

The look on his face said it all. Now he was the one who was concerned.

"I told you not to worry Stella; I'll be fine."  
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I should just let you get some rest, I'm not really helping."  
"No, stay" he quickly replied" "Your helping, I want you here."

He lightly rubbed his thumb across our still linked hands. I screamed inside, he was driving me crazy, and I wondered where this side of Mac had come from all of a sudden. I just wanted to reach out and hug him, or kiss him or something.

"Are you sure?" _  
_"Of course."  
"Okay." I said smiling slightly.  
_  
_"You look worn out, it's my fault."  
"No Mac, don't say that. It's not your fault." I said moving just a little closer.

More silence.

"You can lay down if you want." he suggested, his eyes pointing to the other side of his bed.  
The thought of laying in bed with him, sent chills down my spine, what I've always wanted to do.  
_'Is he delusional? Move your ass!'  
_  
"Sorry, of course you don't have too."  
"I think I will." I managed to blurt out, not trying to sound so desperate.

I made m way to the other side.

More silence.

"So...how's Lucy?"  
"As healthy and cute as ever I'm hearing."  
"Great."

Again more silence.

"Your bed's comfy" '_HA!'  
_"It does its job."

I chuckled softly to myself and finally looked over at him, he was basically out. All this moving around and talking has got him beat. I might as well just rest my eyes as well, I'm exhausted myself.  
All day my eyes have been burning and pleading for them to shut.  
I took once last glance at Mac, and wanted to hold his hand again, so without hesitation, I did. Seconds later I was gone into a deep, dreamless sleep.

****

The buzzing sound of my phone in my pocket made me jump.  
I had to think for a second where I was, and felt an arm around me.  
My eyes turned to Mac, still deep in sleep, lips slightly parted.  
_  
'Dammit' _I thought to myself '_answer the damn phone, you have to answer the phone'  
_Trying not to wake him; I slowly made MY way out of his warm embrace.

I didn't want to, hell I wanted to stay and take the opportunity to just look at him, he looks so peaceful and at ease when his sleeping. I smiled but sighed and reached for my phone.

"Bonasera?"  
"Hey Stella, its Hawkes. Not interrupting anything am I?"  
She looked at Mac once again, "No, not at all, what's up?"  
"Need you to come in; Lindsay has her day off today."

_'I totally forgot'_

"Ah, yeah no worries, I'll be right in Sheldon." Stella said hanging up.

Quietly as possible, I rolled out the bed and left him a note on the bedside table.  
I quickly headed off back to my apartment, to shower and get a change clothes.

Like always, he never left my thoughts.

****

Mac woke, and saw the empty bed space beside him, he blinked a few times and remembered she had stayed with him, but she was gone.

Had she panicked and rushed out? He thought immediately. He sighed and rolled over, noticing the small note.

_Duty called, sorry.  
Call me if you need anything,  
and just take it easy  
Stell_

He smiled. So she didn't rush out on him, _thank god._

He now knew what it felt like to have too much sleep, he felt so over tired, but needed it.  
Slowly making his way to the shower, he started to think he must have smelt pretty bad at times over the past 2 days, and he wondered if Stella noticed.

For a while he just let the hot water run over his skin, making it last as long as possible. He felt a lot better, and he thought that Stella had a lot to do with it. But her being in charge, she wasn't going to be back for a while, that's if he called her again.  
All he could think about was her. He pictured her at the crime scene, like he always see's her everyday, collecting evidence, taking photos, being as graceful as she always is. He couldn't take it; he had to go back to work.

****

I walked through the corridors of the lab heading towards Adam for some results.  
But at the corner of my eye I saw a figure in Mac's office.

I looked to find Mac.

He saw me staring at him from behind the glass windows and gave me a smile and a little wave.  
I returned a wave back and made my way into his office.

"I got sick of sleeping." he said  
I laughed.  
"I thought that would be the case."

He looked much better, the shadows under his eyes had seemed to lighten, and colour had come back in face.  
"You're looking much better, it's good to have you back." I say walking in further.  
"Thanks." he said slipping his jacket on.

"Hey Mac, one more thing...I think I left my jacket at your house."  
"Oh, I can bring it in tomorrow if you like. Unless you wanna come pick up?"

_'Pick it up, Pick it up, PICK IT UP! '_

"I'll come over and get it later tonight, if that's ok. I'll be over your side of town anyway."  
_'Did i just tell a big fat lie and excuse just to see him? I'm insane'  
_"Hot date?" Mac asked.  
"Hot date?" I said laughing at his choice of words.  
"No, no. Just...seeing a friend."

We now stood in there oh so familiar territory of silence. Mac walked towards me and opened the door.

"Well, Shall we?"  
"Sure, there are never enough cases to solve in this city." I said making her way out, with Mac following closely behind, his hand placed on my lower back guiding me out. Sending tingles all through my body.

****

I again stood outside Mac's apartment, heart racing like never before. Why was I so nervous? I was just picking up my jacket for god sake. I don't even know if I'm reading the signals right, but something was different between us.

I lightly knocked and straightened my clothes and fixed up my hair. Seconds later the door opened,  
revealing the casual looking Mac that I hardly saw, oh how I wish I could see it more.  
"Hey."  
"Hey."  
"Come in."

"How are you?"  
"Fine."

He handed over my jacket.

"Stella..." he said, his voice low  
I locked eyes with him.  
There was a slight pause as Mac stood there trying to find the right words.  
"Can we talk?"  
A sharp pain was growing in the pit of my stomach, I had no idea what he was about to say, but it didn't sound good at all.  
"Of course...What is it?"  
"I'm tired of pretending."

I was stunned. Those words now were stained in my brain, like a song I simply couldn't get out of my head. Millions and millions of thoughts were running through my mind all at once. My mouth started to go dry.  
Had he really felt the same all this time?

"So am I Mac..." I said finally, stepping a little closer, bravely placing my hand on his chest.

I was now _so close_, I could smell his aftershave. Closing my eyes, I hoped he would say or do something next. He brushed his hand across my cheek; I leaned into his palm, savouring the feeling of his touch.  
"Stella."  
"Yes?"

He was going to say something, but instead he kissed the spot just below my ear.

And god help me, my insides turned into mush.

I froze and I tightened my grip on him, now holding on with both hands. His solid form the only thing keeping me up.

_'Is this a dream?'_ I thought to myself.  
I felt like I was going to collapse any second now. And when I opened her eyes, I was now inches from his lips.

I think he slightly scared at what to do next, because right now this moment doesn't seem real, well to me anyway. So I decided it was my turn to give in. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer (if that's possible) then our lips finally met and...Well, I wanted to melt right there and then.

It was soft, gentle, and lingered on for a while, making me almost weak at the knees. But the next thing I know, he deepens the kiss, and his tongue slides in, leaving me with the first taste of him. He pushed me up against wall, hard. Everything disappeared around me; all the years of looks, stares, touches, compliments, vanished into thin air. Making only this moment matter.  
We were now lost in each other. Mac ruffling his hands through my hair, me tugging at his shirt.  
We kissed each other till we simply could no more. Both gasping for air but still never letting go of each others embrace.

"Mac...we were stupid for leaving it this long you know." I said sliding my arms around his waist.  
"I know. Stay?"  
"Oh, wouldn't dream of leaving now."


End file.
